This is hard. This is probably one of the most difficult posts I will ever write. Because I’m a scaredy-cat. Because today, June 27th, 2017, I am making a commitment. A commitment to my readers, a commitment to my children, a commitment to myself, and most importantly, a commitment to God.
I have been called to something, something incredibly difficult, something that requires more than a little faith. I’ve been called on an adventure, an exciting quest to speak the truth. I’ve been called to write. Not just to write (it’s not as boring as I just made it sound), but to write the message of freedom found in a relationship with Christ, a message of encouragement to those imprisoned by the lies and manipulations of Satan.
I have been fighting this calling for some time now, not because I don’t want the task, but because I haven’t had the courage to step out in faith. I am a single mom, and have been the sole provider for my children for the past 9 years. But I keep ending up here, where God shuts down everything I try to do on my own, and opens the door for me to write full-time. Every time, I get scared and try to open a different door , a door with better income, with guaranteed provision, or shamefully, with a title that I think will earn the respect of others. While many bloggers and writers are doing well for themselves, it often takes years for the kind of success I’d need to take care of my family. And I have rent due now. So I walk away, in fear and disbelief.
The thing is, is that every time I chicken out and walk away, God brings me right back to that same open door, again and again. When I try to make my own way, forcing open the door I think is best, any amount of success or progress I make eventually ends up in failure and there I am, in the same place, with an open door and a choice. Today, I stand again in front of this same door, with the same choice.
So today I am choosing. I choose to walk through the open door. I choose faith. I choose to trust that God will use my words and my story to inspire and encourage. I choose to trust that God will provide.
Today I am committing myself, publicly, to serving God wholeheartedly with the words that I write. I commit to putting him first and trusting him fully.
I commit to putting my family second. For far too long, I have used work as a way to escape the stress of my home and the emotional needs of my 2 precious children. I have missed so much of their childhood fighting to climb the ladder of “success”, putting them second to money when God has promised to provide. No more. I commit to being a mother first, second to nothing but my relationship with God.
I commit myself to you, my readers, now and in the future. I commit to always speak the truth that God has laid on my heart, the encouragement we all need in order to live a life of faith. I commit to being there for you, answering emails, comments, and questions, praying with you when you need it, praying for each one of you, each and every day.
Lastly, I am making a commitment to myself. A commitment to be who God created me to be. No matter what. No matter how scary it may look. No matter how many doubts I have. No matter how many lies Satan whispers. I commit to staying true to myself, my beliefs, my God, my family, and the deepest desires written on my heart.
In yesterday’s post (read it here), I talked about decisions, and how fear can keep us (especially me) from making choices and following God’s plan. I have spent too much time being afraid. I don’t know how this is going to work. I don’t know how I will pay the bills. But I know that I’m done letting fear rule my decisions. I’m done being afraid to choose my calling and walk through this open door. I trust God to provide. I trust him to use my words to encourage hundreds of thousands of struggling people and point them to the freedom and hope I have discovered in Christ! I trust that my courage and commitment today will inspire you to choose the calling God has for you as well.
Thank you, God, in advance, for all of the amazing things I know you are going to do in and through me as step out in faith today!
Tell me, what is God calling you to today? What open door have you been afraid to walk through? Leave a comment so that I can pray for you! And thank you for embarking on this journey with me. I can’t wait to keep you posted!